Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mothers Day #family #fam #mom #dad #TagsForLikes #brother #sister #brothers #sisters #bro #sis #siblings #love #instagood #father #mother #related #fun #photooftheday #children #kids #life #happy #familytime #cute #smile #fun via dickster1961

First off, I want to wish all of the Moms out there a very happy Mother's Day.  This morning, we got up early and I drove my wife out to my son's school on the Eastern Shore so that she could have lunch with our boy on Mother's Day.  We decided to just have a little visit with him on campus.  We had a pizza delivered and after lunch we walked around campus and spent some time on the playground.  He was more interested in going back into the dorm to watch some DVDs that I had burned and brought for him.

That was not our original plan for Mother's Day, nor is it our usual routine when visiting our son.  Our original plan for Mother's Day was to pick up our son for an unscheduled weekend home and to take him to a Bowie Baysox game today, then drive him back to school.  Normally, when we visit our son, we take him off campus for lunch at Golden Corral and then either to Target or Walmart to get a new CD or DVD.

To explain why we changed our original plans and normal routine, we had to go back one week to our last visit with our son.  It started like several successful visits of late.  We picked up our son shortly after 11:00 and headed out to the Golden Corral in Easton, MD.  He ate three plates of his favorite foods from Golden Corral; pot roast, bourbon chicken, mashed potatoes, and macaroni & cheese.  So far, it was the start of a very pleasant visit.

After lunch, we got back in the car and headed to Target.  Once there, my son headed straight to the back of the store to the music department to find a CD or DVD.  He walked up and down each aisle looking for something, but just couldn't find anything that he wanted.  With my son's autism, even though he is very verbal, he sometimes has a difficult time telling us what he wants when he can't find it.  That is when things took a decided turn for the worse.

One of my son's undesirable behaviors is one we refer to as dropping.  If he doesn't want to do something, or is upset for some reason, he will drop to the ground, make himself dead weight, and refuse to get up.  When he drops, it can last for a few moments, or in some cases quite a long time.  This particular incident was one of the longer ones.  We spent over two hours trying to calm our son down, figure out what he wanted, and get him back to school.

We tried singing to him, stroking his hands, bringing him CDs and DVDs of acts that he has enjoyed in the past.  Nothing worked.  We got a few smiles and responses but we just couldn't get him off the floor.  At one point, we called the school to see if they could send somebody out to try to help get him back.  At long last, my wife came back to where we were with something that got our son off of the ground.

One of the things that my son likes to watch is, of all things, infomercials.  He particularly likes the ones that feature vacuum cleaners.  My wife came back with an inexpensive, rechargeable portable Dirt Devil.  That did the trick.  He got up, grabbed the vacuum, and headed to the front of the store just as the back up from the school showed up to help.  Now, he has his own personal vacuum in his dorm.

After an incident like this, it usually takes us a little while before we try to venture back out.  We were very hesitant to bring him home for the weekend for fear of a repeat performance at the stadium.  We were also very hesitant to try our usual routine of lunch at Golden Corral.  As it turned out, we had a nice little lunch and visit on campus, and he was in a great mood when we left.

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Using an area rug cleaning service has a lot of pluses.  Since it is done to the part of the rug that is dirty, it doesn't cost as much as a whole rug cleaning.  It is also specific to the type of rug, which makes it work extremely well.  It can restore a rug to its original state before it was dirtied by stains or other means. 

Having access to an area rug cleaning service online is really beneficial.  It works well for the people that need it because they are able to access it at any point of the day or night.  When they need assistance, they will be able to reach someone online.  It is really simple for them to use, and they will find the service to be commendable.

Anyone can use an area rug cleaning service if they need to.  It can be done in big houses or in small apartments.  The space is not the issue, the rug is.  They will find that this service will save them money in the long run because they will only be charged for the rug in question.

Baysox Photos

I went to the Bowie Baysox baseball game on Sunday and took my camera with me.  Here are a few of the photos from that day.

Happy Birthday!

19 years ago today, I found myself in the car at 2:00 AM driving my very pregnant wife to the hospital in a spring rain.  She woke me shortly after 1:00 to tell me that she thought that her water had broke.  Once we got to the emergency room, we discovered that, in fact, her water had broke, but she wasn't quite ready to deliver.  So they took her to a room, and we waited.

After a few hours, they made the decision to induce labor.  It took a while to get the dosage right.  At first, they gave her too much of the drug and her contractions started too strongly and too quickly.  So, they backed off on the IV and my wife was able to get a little rest before all the real fun would begin.  Around 6:00-7:00 PM my wife started pushing in earnest.  Shortly before 9:00 my son entered the world.

It was without a doubt the proudest moment in my life.  The entire time my wife was pregnant, I steadfastly declared that I did not care one way or the other what the sex of our child was going to be.  One he came out and I was told we had a boy, I have to confess that my chest stuck out a little bit further.

Over the years, it has been quite an adventure.  From birth to about 2 years of age, our son appeared to be completely normal.  He was hitting all of his milestone markers on time and in a lot of cases early.  Then all of a sudden around his second birthday things changed.  His progress became delayed. We got him involved in early special education classes where a specialist from the school system came to the house a couple days per week.  By his 3rd birthday he started taking a bus to a school for children with special needs.

In the intervening years, there have been a lot of emotions and struggles.  There was a lot of denials about the  final diagnosis of autism.  I struggled a lot at times.  You see, I have always been considered a smarter than average person.  I was a nearly straight A student, always made the honor roll, and participated in talented and gifted programs.  I thought, "How could my child be mentally delayed?  He has my genes."

A few years ago, we made the difficult decision to try to get him into a residential school program.  It was one of the hardest decisions we ever made.  Several of the struggles and challenges of adjusting to this decision have been chronicled here on this blog.  It has been one of the best things that we ever did for our son.  At one point, I always thought that my son would live with us as long as we could care for him.  Now we look to the day when he will graduate in 2015 and enter a group home.

Today, we drove out to see him to celebrate his 19th birthday.  We decided that we would throw a little pizza party for him, his dorm mates, and the dorm staff.  One year ago, we couldn't get him to touch pizza.  The only thing he would eat was chicken, bacon, potato chips and Cheez-it crackers.  In fact, my wife and I couldn't eat pizza in front of him because he would gag.  Today, he ate six big slices of pizza, more than my wife and I combined.  We even offered him boneless wings and he chose more pizza.

Even with all of the progress he has made, he still has a long way to go.  For example, he still has not gotten to the point where he will have a bowel movement on the toilet.  I never really liked changing his diapers when he was a baby, changing Depends now isn't any fun either. He still has several undesirable behavioral issues.  He will drop to the floor if he doesn't want to do something.  He still hits at people and throws his glasses.  It has been a struggle and will probably always will.  I wouldn't change a thing.

So Very Proud

A few days ago, I wrote about the passing of Sister Jeannette Murray of the Sisters of St. Gertrude Monastery in Ridgely MD.  Sister Jeannette was one of the founders of the Benedictine School for Exceptional Children where my son is a student.

When we found out about the viewing and funeral plans, we were concerned about how our son would react.  You see, everything was going to take place on the school campus.  There was a viewing on Monday afternoon in the school recreation room from 2-6 pm and a funeral mass beginning at 7pm in the school gymnasium.

Based on the hours that the services were planned, I was concerned that the plan was to have the kids involved in the services.  Our son had never been exposed to anything like this before.  With his previous history of inappropriate comments and behavioral breakdowns, we were definitely concerned about how he would react under the circumstances, especially since he had developed a good relationship with the Sister.

So, I started sending some emails to the dorm and to the school to find out what the plans were regarding the kids.  At one point, his teacher had informed me that his class had a separate time scheduled to attend a viewing apart from the scheduled public viewing.  As it turned out, she decided not to have the kids view the casket but instead had the kids watch a tribute visit honoring Sister Jeannette's life.

Tuesday morning, my son went to class where he told his teacher that Sister Jeannette had died.  So, the teacher asked him where Sister Jeannette now was.  His response was one that made me so proud and brought a tear to my eye.  He replied that Sister Jeannette was now in heaven and that they should have a moment of silence.

Not only was my son's response totally appropriate for the situation, but it showed a level of maturity that I had not expected from him.  Every day, he shows a level of growth that further reinforces that we made the right decision to send him away to school.  I am so very proud of how much he has matured and grown since he began attending the school.

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Everyday Heroes

Crest of the Order of St. Benedict (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are some people that if you passed them on the street, you would never give them a second glance or thought.  Ordinary looking people that do not look like anything special.  The type of person who you would never think would have a lasting impact on the world.  Sister Jeannette Murray was one of those people.

Sister Jeannette was a nun of the order of St. Benedict.  She was a member of the Saint Gertrude Monastery in Ridgely, MD.  Sister Jeannette began her career as a teacher, specifically in the field of Special Education. In 1960, she landed at the Benedictine School for Exceptional Children to teach kids with special needs.  It also happens to be the school that my son now attends and my nephew graduated from.

Sister Jeannette was a tireless advocate for those that she labeled "her kids."  Through her guidance and perseverance, the Benedictine School has become one of the top schools in the country, much less the state of Maryland, for children with special needs.  But the school is not the only thing that Sister Jeannette was a big part of.

As the kids grew and left the school, they still needed a place to go where they could lead productive lives.  So, the Benedictine Community also took a leading roll in establishing a vibrant open community for adults building several group homes and establishing a number of vocational programs for adults with special needs.  My personal favorite is the Busy Bees Bakery in Denton MD.  They make a mean pumpkin roll.

Sadly, on Thursday, March 21, Sister Jeannette passed away, perhaps fittingly, on the day of the Feast of the Passing of Saint Benedict.  Thankfully, Sister Jeannette got to see the last piece of the puzzle completed before she was called home.  The Benedictine Foundation recently dedicated two new retirement homes for her children who are approaching that stage of life.

Sister Jeannette barely stood 5 feet tall, and I would hazard to guess that she didn't tip the scales at 100 pounds unless you slipped some rocks in her pocket.  Still, her impact will last well beyond her years on earth.  The Benedictine Foundation is on solid ground with a group of people who are passionate about carrying on the work of Sister Jeannette.

My initial interactions with Sister Jeannette were not positive.  My son was having a difficult time adjusting to the school when he first started to attend the school.  However, in the last year, Sister Jeannette told us how much he had grown.  She even went so far as to say that he was her "buddy."

Sister Jeannette will never be known like Mother Theresa but her impact on those she came in contact with will last as long as the impact that Mother Theresa had.  May you rest in peace, Sister Jeannette.  I am sure you will be continuously watching over your kids in the Benedictine Community from above.  God bless you for all you have done, especially for my son and my nephew.