Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Tough Day

Monday was an unbelievably draining day.  As I mentioned on Sunday, we were set to take our son back to live at his school on the Eastern Shore.  All day Sunday, he kept telling me, "no school tomorrow, Daddy."  At one point, he said to me, "Daddy has to go to work tomorrow."

His, "Daddy has to go to work tomorrow" comment gave my wife a pretty good idea on how to approach taking him back to school.  She thought it would tip him off if I stayed home from work on a Monday, and that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to get him in the car to head out to school.

So, Monday morning, I headed out to run some errands.  My first stop was to take my car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change.  The next stop was to head to the local shopping center to hang out until my wife was ready to venture out.  She took him for a haircut and then to the mall.  They would go to Barnes & Noble and I would follow them when they went to the car.

It worked like clockwork.  They left Barnes & Noble and headed back to get him in the car, while I walked several feet behind him.  Surprisingly, she was able to get him in the back seat of the car.  He usually sits in front.  With his seat belt on and the child safety locks in place, we headed out to school.

The drive out was fairly uneventful.  There were a few exclamations from him about not wanting to go to school, but for the most part, he sat quietly in the back listening to music.  After we got across the Bay Bridge, he started to protest more loudly that he wanted to go home.  That was intermixed with comments about one of his classmates that he dances with at the school socials.

We got to the school just before 1pm, and that is when the fireworks started.  As soon as we parked the car and opened the door on his side of the car, he wedged himself between the front and back seat on the floor.  This was not one of his run of the mill tantrums.   

As I attempted to coax our son from the car, my wife took his things to his dorm room.  Usually when my son is dropping to the ground, or in this case the floor of the car, that is all he does.  Today there were tears and a look that seemed to be a mix of fear and betrayal.  Needless to say, it tore me up, and tears started to form in my own eyes.

Some of the residential staff came out to try to assist in getting him from the car.  One went back to try to get one of the teachers from his classroom.  One of the teaching assistants came out to try to help.  All told, it took over an hour to get him out of the car, and it took a couple of the male staff to physically remove him from the car.

Once out of the car, he continued to lie on the ground, crying.  It was at this point that his primary teacher showed up.  She was the only person that he responded well to, and he proceeded to stand up and walk into the dorm area with her.  As we pulled away, we saw him walking with his teacher and the aide towards the school building.

We have to go back out to the school next weekend to take him some medications after we get them refilled.  I do not think we are able to go out there for a visit yet.  I think my wife and I have made up our minds to take his portable DVD player out to him so he will have another thing from home to make his transition a little more comfortable.

I am really hoping that he can make it through the next five weeks before his next break.  Having him home for three weeks over Christmas instead of the scheduled 10 days, made today a lot more difficult, at least in my opinion.  So far, he has only been away for two weeks.  These folks are supposed to be the experts in helping these kids to adjust.  As much as I miss him, I really hope they can help him make it through the full five weeks he is to be there.

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. I think your son's happiness is worth more than the worry over the dvd player. I think the security he would feel having some of his prized things with him will make it worth the risk. Plus it might help your piece of mind. Just my opinion...since you asked for someone to say something earlier. Plus having duplicates of his prized tv shows might ease the loss if there is a chance of it.

  2. well, he has a little Christmas money, so we have decided we can replace the DVD player if anything happens to it, and I plan to spend the next few days making some duplicates of some of his DVDs

  3. Your post made me cry. I remember my brother during our younger years when he used to throw tantrums a lot. Now that he's 43 years, his temper tantrums are few and far between. He now works as a Library Assistant in City Hall. Still lives with my parents and brother. We see him every week. And we love him.

    I know how it is. And so I admire your commitment and dedication to your son. I will pray for your family, I promise you that.

  4. This has to be heart wrenching. I think in the long run (free opinions are worth what you pay), that he will grow from being at school, but it's got to be hard.

    Our learning disabled son only wanted us OUT of his life, so all tears and kicking and yelling were directed at us, not in an attempt to stay with us.

  5. yeah, it is tough sharkbytes, but we know first hand from our nephew having attended the school.



Related Posts with Thumbnails